A safety net of love and understanding


At Church today the Pastor talked to us about how God’s love provides a safety net for us and enables us to move forward with confidence knowing we are loved and cared for so fully.

Alison told us that when the Golden Gate Bridge was built, a safety net was put in place, allowing the workers to move about more confidently and safely while incidentally increasing productivity.

This made me think about children in our classes. When children know they are loved and safe to take risks, try new learning techniques and learn from mistakes, test scores and academic performances improve. To put it simply: Happy, supported children learn more.

The safety net that can be built in all educational environments needs to emulate a healthy home environment. Children must know they are loved and safe and not all expected to achieve at the same rates. Without this safety net children will just take the safe path and not take any risks with learning and this means they will not be giving of their best.

A truly high quality system will always encourage students to “stretch” their intellects and go for gold- even if they fall down sometimes. The safety net of love and encouragement will help students stand up quickly, improve their “bounce factor” and learn from their mistakes.

So how do we weave such a safety net? To my mind these factors are crucial:

  • Teachers need to LOVE their students- not in a soppy meaningless way but in a way that respects children and understands that kids make mistakes- they are after all LEARNERS!
  • Teachers with challenging students need real assistance to be able to provide that loving safety net as there are always kids who try the patience of even the most loving and understanding educator.
  • Teachers themselves need a loving safety net of respect and understanding from their admin teams who in turn need it from their departments. Teachers who are not free to try our new techniques and whose only concern is to get kids to pass tests will NEVER get the best academic results from their students. Fear is a very poor teacher.

A loving safety net to help all students feel cared for, respected and affirmed could absolutely transform all education environments- and lift education standards without the pressure and cajoling that occurs so often.

We notice how often children who do our EQ4KIDZ course surprisingly get higher academic results. We really should not have been surprised, given the strong correlation between self esteem and successful learning.

Thanks Alison Gilchrist for your sermon today! I’m going to check our safety net for International Centre for Excellence and make sure there are no weak spots!



New mindset new results motivational phrase sign on old wood with blurred background

Our EQ4KIDZ course leads to better academic results. This is because children develop an I CAN attitude and therefore stop holding back in the classroom.

They are more positive, resilient and improve general self-esteem and develop an I CAN attitude.

This course teaches kids to understand themselves and develop more positive attitudes.

EQ4KIDZ is offered in Australia and SE Asia. Our goal has always been the same: To help all children reach their potential.

Students are led through art and drama activities, proven to help them understand themselves and others.

Training is also available for schools. We can provide trained teachers to run this transformative course in schools and we are also available to go into schools and train staff.

Readers who are interested in enrolling children in this course can contact ICE on 9271 4200 or email International Centre for Excellence iceinfo@iinet.net.au

The A-Z of Child Whispering O is for OPPOSITIONAL

Children Fighting In Front Of Mother At Home

What does OPPOSITIONAL mean?

You want the child to do one thing and they want to do the opposite.

Don’t we ALL have this at times? (I’m sure my husband would agree with that one!)

Why do some children become oppositional?

They do it because they don’t want to do what you want them to do. Simple!

What child ever wants to go to bed, pick up their toys, finish vegetables they hate, do boring homework or quietly accompany someone around a long trip to the supermarket, share toys with another kid they don’t like ……… (The list goes on!)

EVERY child in the world has had this so-called disorder at some stage.

Some kids are very strong and independent and really want to try to stand up to you, defy you and get their own way! (Could actually be a rather warped sign of strength and leadership!)

However, kids HAVE to learn to play the “game” and behave.

If parents don’t discipline their children, the world will!

You do know more than your child and you are the boss.

If no rules in the house- children will simply walk over you and demand their own way. They are wired to do this.

  • Make house and class rules and where possible involve children in this process. However, tell the kids about the non-negotiable rules- particularly the ones related to safety.
  • Stick to your rules and don’t threaten. Give a couple of warnings and then apply the consequences. It might be an isolation chair, quiet time in room, cancellation of privileges etc. No matter what you choose- make the consequences clear and STICK to them.
  • Begin straight away – if you ignore constant bad behaviour it just gets worse. It is OK to tell kids you understand how they feel. It is also OK that you tell them that some things are hard but we have to do them! This is part of character building.

You deserve some peace and quiet and you don’t want your home or classroom to be a constant battleground. It doesn’t have to be.

However, make sure you-

  • Do not have unrealistic expectations. Children cannot always be clean, neat and quiet.
  • Check children’s diets as many common foods contain additives that lead to low-level aggression.
  • Allow plenty of non-screen time and ensure they get outside and exercise.
  • Restrict time on digital media- it can lead to irritation and low level aggression.

We now have a label for oppositional behaviour:

Opposition Defiance Disorder (ODD)

Experts tell us that ODD kids might go on to develop Conduct Disorder. (CD)

Is it possible these kids actually have OOCD? (Out of Control Disorder) or NKS ? (Naughty kids syndrome)

This medicalisation of childhood needs to stop.

Take control today.


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