The ABC of Child Whispering: P is for PERSPECTIVE

Happy child standing beside sea on hill sunset sky and rainbow. Childhood concept

A sense of perspective is essential for balanced and rational thinking.

This is equally important for children as it is for adults.

Children who lack this tend to be difficult to control at home and at school and seem to lack the ability to develop self-disciple and to see the whole picture.

A sense of perspective helps adults and children to keep the whole picture, view it from different angles and not just get hung up on details. Without this we would be unlikely to achieve very much at all!

We use daily MINDFULNESS to help our students around the world to achieve this and it works!

It is also essential we help children to look at situations from other points of view to encourage them to grow empathy. They need to understand that other people/children may be looking at a situation from a completely different perspective.

Understanding this leads to more emotional maturity and ability to handle strong feelings and calm down!

There are many ways to do this with may strategies suitable for different ages and stages.

We seek to grow perspective during our EQ4KIDZ courses and use many of the following strategies.

Try some of these strategies (provided link,) They will really help your children to understand this area and grow in emotional literacy and understanding.

If you would like to know more about EQ4KIDZ please call us on 08 92714200 or email iceinfo@iinet.net.au

https://www.speechandlanguagekids.com/how-to-teach-perspective-talking-to-children/

 

The ABC OF CHILD WHISPERING L is for limiting thoughts and beliefs

New mindset new results motivational phrase sign on old wood with blurred background
New mindset new results motivational phrase sign on old wood with blurred background

Yesterday I was talking to a bunch of young people at our centre- upper primary and secondary.

They were talking about how scary the forthcoming NAPLAN tests are for them. One of the students was very worried about a test she had coming up at school today.

I suddenly realised I was confronting a dense smog of self-limiting beliefs and that it was worth taking some time away from our writing lesson to help the children see what they were doing.

I reminded them that repeating these negative affirmations was just making the likelihood of failure more likely!

We looked at how simply worrying about NAPLAN could ruin the forthcoming holidays and not help one iota. We then examined how taking a positive attitude and using positive affirmations would be likely to lead to higher marks. (Along with some judicious practice and well applied study skills!)

We discussed the pointlessness of obsessively worrying about the questions that MIGHT occur. It is a far better strategy to write down the questions that would be most difficult and then write answers.

Playing WORST QUESTIONS EVER is actually a very positive strategy where children together write the hardest questions they can think of and then collaboratively set out to answer them!

Chances are that they will actually get easier questions and even if they don’t- they will not have spent days or weeks worrying themselves into a negative wormhole!

The limiting thoughts and beliefs we carry from childhood have a massive impact on our adult lives and in turn get visited on our loved ones.

Common examples are I AM HOPELESS AT MATHS, I AM NOT SMART, I WILL NEVER HAVE ANY MONEY, I WILL NEVER BE SUCCESSFUL, PEOPLE DON’T LIKE ME, I DON’T HAVE MANY FRIENDS, I WILL NEVER PASS THE EXAM…………

We deal with these negative self-beliefs within all our learning sessions and in particular during our evidence-based EQ4KIDZ course.

Children need to be helped to squash these thoughts and place them under a “microscope” to see how damaging they really are. Then they need to be shown how to use positive affirmations that can be immediately substituted for negative thoughts.

Children and teenagers CAN be empowered to overcome these self-limiting beliefs. It just takes time, sensitive, deep listening and a willingness to demonstrate and scaffold thinking techniques that need to be applied. Our young people are often very stressed and worried at this PRE-NAPLAN time and they need our calm support!

 

The A-Z of Child Whispering: K is for KINDNESS

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K is for KINDNESS
We use this word so easily but when you really analyse it – what does it actually mean?
Generally – friendly/generous and considerate are adjectives we think of with KINDNESS but I think gentleness is in there too.
I gave a workshop at the Singapore Kindness Movement conference one year and was encouraged by the positive response and interest.
Teachers and parents are really searching for ways to teach KINDNESS and I guess children do not always find the world to be a kind place!
I was chatting to a student last week and asked him about 1 change he would like to see in the world. WORLD PEACE was his choice. He told me how he sees the fighting and hatred on the television and how bad it is. He then asked me about MY childhood and I was catapulted back to a time when we didn’t see these hateful images on our screens every night.
It was a time when my Mum told me to run along after school and not to return till dinner-time. So, off to the river we went to climb trees, fall down, fish, slip in freezing streams and generally (mostly) get home in 1 piece to eat and off to bed with a book.
Imagine parents being able to say that to kids these days?
Recently I returned to that river and NOTHING has changed! Gentle village, village school, quiet lanes, Saxon Church and giant yew trees- feeling of indescribable peace,
Of course the world was not a totally safe place then and I certainly experienced my share of unkind teachers and children. This is part of normal growing up.
However, we were shielded and allowed freedom to think, be and develop.
I can’t help wondering what these horrific images in the media might be doing to young people? I don’t believe we can hide our children from the media forever. The student I was chatting with was 14 and very savvy with digital media, websites and the like.
But he was worried enough to want to chat about it.

So how can we teach our kids to be kind in this society?
We just DO it– one kind act at a time. Leap in!
I have always been a fan of the Random Acts of Kindness movement. https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/
But let’s model it and teach it in a way that is not always random. How about some deliberate PLANNED kindness!
Let’s set out every-day to be kind, model kindness too children and encourage them to practise it on a daily basis!
So – How do we teach kindness to children?
Start by being kind to yourself. Take some time each time to think and BE with yourself. Get back into your body and stop spinning!
Allow your children to do the same. Children crave SPARE TIME to just play and BE.

Be kind to your children- not indulgent. Look at this amazing website for practical examples and be inspired by the incredibly short but powerful life of Martin Richard– a real believe in peace and kindness. His message will live on forever!

Kindness: How You Can Teach Children to Care for Others

See this link for 14 amazingly practical ways to make kindness a way of daily family life! http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/advice/14-little-ways-to-encourage-kindness/

We have made KINDNESS a real part of our EQ4KIDZ program and we often have a minute of KINDFULNESS – where we sit with dimmed lights and consider kind acts we can do for each other.

We CAN change the world- 1 kind act at a time.
Children are wired for empathy and get so much satisfaction from BEING kind rather than just receiving kindness. Big people too!