Tag: positive

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NEW START FOR YOUR CHILDREN

chick and egg

How many times have you wanted to press rewind but you know this is not possible?

Children suffer from this longing as they often blurt things out and then wish they could take them back!

Sadly we can’t do this but we CAN learn from mistakes and re-group and get on track and start our lives again!

I believe we ALL need a re-start sometimes.

Children need to feel optimistic and feel they can get back on track.

We have written a transformational and very effective workshop to help children achieve this.

We call it RE-START  and we have developed specific practical strategies to help children achieve this. We help them develop a sense of gratitude about themselves and what they already have and then we help them to set realistic goals.

We help them develop planning procedures and show them how to view life from the glass half full perspective.

Children are helped to become assertive, determine their strengths and weaknesses and to realise we are ALL smart! (But often in very different ways) All attending children are taken through a process to help them determine their stronger and weaker intelligences so they know how to strengthen their academic strengths by harnessing their strengths and talents!

We harness the image of the chick coming from the egg and show children that we can re-emerge with everything we already know.

Optimism can be taught but needs careful planning and persistence.

Both teachers and parents need to model optimistic behaviours by using positive language and actions. See this link for ideas to achieve this!

http://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/emotional-intelligence/optimism

There are great benefits to be had (for both children and parents) by adopting more optimistic outlooks. In our experience at ICE, children with positive outlooks are healthier, more resilient and tend to reach higher academic outcomes as they don’t allow negative self-talk to stop them!

http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/optimismbenefit.htm

Martin Seligman, the great expert in this area puts it so well:

“It’s a matter of ABC: When we encounter ADVERSITY, we react by thinking about it. Our thoughts rapidly congeal into BELIEFS. These beliefs may become so habitual we don’t even realize we have them unless we stop to focus on them. And they don’t just sit there idly; they have CONSEQUENCES.”

We believe these skills can be taught at an early age and will benefit children for the rest of their lives. Call us in Perth on 92714200 or email me on victoriacarlton@iinet.net.au for a comprehensive flyer about this course. Our next RE-START course will be held THIS Wed- 20-4-16

 

 

 

 

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The ABC OF CHILD WHISPERING L is for limiting thoughts and beliefs

New mindset new results motivational phrase sign on old wood with blurred background
New mindset new results motivational phrase sign on old wood with blurred background

Yesterday I was talking to a bunch of young people at our centre- upper primary and secondary.

They were talking about how scary the forthcoming NAPLAN tests are for them. One of the students was very worried about a test she had coming up at school today.

I suddenly realised I was confronting a dense smog of self-limiting beliefs and that it was worth taking some time away from our writing lesson to help the children see what they were doing.

I reminded them that repeating these negative affirmations was just making the likelihood of failure more likely!

We looked at how simply worrying about NAPLAN could ruin the forthcoming holidays and not help one iota. We then examined how taking a positive attitude and using positive affirmations would be likely to lead to higher marks. (Along with some judicious practice and well applied study skills!)

We discussed the pointlessness of obsessively worrying about the questions that MIGHT occur. It is a far better strategy to write down the questions that would be most difficult and then write answers.

Playing WORST QUESTIONS EVER is actually a very positive strategy where children together write the hardest questions they can think of and then collaboratively set out to answer them!

Chances are that they will actually get easier questions and even if they don’t- they will not have spent days or weeks worrying themselves into a negative wormhole!

The limiting thoughts and beliefs we carry from childhood have a massive impact on our adult lives and in turn get visited on our loved ones.

Common examples are I AM HOPELESS AT MATHS, I AM NOT SMART, I WILL NEVER HAVE ANY MONEY, I WILL NEVER BE SUCCESSFUL, PEOPLE DON’T LIKE ME, I DON’T HAVE MANY FRIENDS, I WILL NEVER PASS THE EXAM…………

We deal with these negative self-beliefs within all our learning sessions and in particular during our evidence-based EQ4KIDZ course.

Children need to be helped to squash these thoughts and place them under a “microscope” to see how damaging they really are. Then they need to be shown how to use positive affirmations that can be immediately substituted for negative thoughts.

Children and teenagers CAN be empowered to overcome these self-limiting beliefs. It just takes time, sensitive, deep listening and a willingness to demonstrate and scaffold thinking techniques that need to be applied. Our young people are often very stressed and worried at this PRE-NAPLAN time and they need our calm support!

 

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FAIRER REPORTING NEEDED

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It’s that time again! Time to judge the progress of our children and bring a light to the twisty paths of learning for each child. It’s REPORT time.
Language is so important at this time. We can be sharp, critical, negative and judgemental or we can be over-positive and brimming with praise or avoidance of the real issues.
I prefer the middle road. Many years ago I encountered the 2 STARS AND A WISH thinking and have tried to live by that. When asked my opinion of anything at all I like to point out the strengths and the weaknesses as I see them and to also offer CONSTRUCTIVE STEPS TO IMPROVE.
We all need that- what are we doing right? What is wrong? How can we improve?
To write a report we need to really KNOW a child. I have seen so many reports that basically leave parents feeling their child will never be able to excel at ANYTHING and others that simply tell lies and insist all is well when it’s not.
Let’s tell the truth but importantly, let’s tell the WHOLE truth.
Children grow and change and what on earth is the point of making a quick judgement that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy and does not allow for positive change? It is better to stick to the fairer, kinder but honest road and point out strengths first, weaknesses next and then ways to improve.
When we teach we NEVER know who is on the mat in front of us. There might be a future PM of Australia, a future talented inventor, a medical scientist who will find a cure for cancer or a genius master criminal in that squirming, creative mass of children by our knees!
So at this “judgement” time let’s treat them with kindness, care, honesty and positive encouragement.
After reading of what the children of Korea have to endure, their high suicide rate and then watching the revealing and dreadful method of attending “hagwons” or cram schools and sleeping in class I am moved to deep sadness for the children and young people.
Life is not just about success and going to the best university or making loads of money. The value systems inherent in these concepts are empty and twisted. Children need better than this and we know it.
I recently saw a TV program about rich Chinese kids are being taken to weekends of over the top total luxury to get them to crave these creature comforts and the high-life and learn about making money. What on earth will those kids be like when they grow up? Unfortunately we know the answer to this question.
We have parents who ask us not to praise children because it will stop them trying. Many years ago I had a child who was almost suicidal due to this parenting approach and had to have years of therapy to regain a positive approach to life.
We have to stop dumping our sick, valueless and contorted ideas of “success” on children and encourage them to grow, improve and be the person they were meant to be. Children are not designer handbags to be touted about. Go save up for your Louis Vuitton if you want but LOVE, CARE, and RESPECT your child and learn to appreciate them for who they are- not for who you want them to be!
As I begin reports today I will try to keep all these thoughts in front of me and most of all use any criticism to show how we can BUILD not tear down.

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