HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

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I am writing this somewhere just north of Australia while idly staring at amazing clouds! As usual up here, ideas flood in because I have created a space- a vacuum for creativity to fill!
So often as teachers we say to children, “Get your head out of the clouds!”
We want kids to be HERE and NOW and with us and not daydreaming but we have taken this too far.
Attention to important things is crucial and we cannot teach effectively without it BUT there must be times when kids have let their attention wander and to wonder, imagine and daydream.
Children who have more time for imagining and daydreaming will be able to think more creatively and generate visual images that help with planning, innovating, seeing new possibilities and writing.
So when can they do this? “Not in MY class!” I can hear you comment! Well- I agree. Not in mine either. BUT – if SOMEONE has let the kids daydream just before I teach them, I have more chance of harnessing their attention and getting them to think creatively.
So, I now always plan a simple, fast art activity just before our skill lessons and it achieves the following:
Helps the kids relax and listen
Allows them to reflect, wonder and process any worrying emotions
Switches on the WHOLE brain so they are ready for new information and problem solving.
Try it. It works. It takes a little time and effort to generate creative activities that don’t take too long but it is ALWAYS worth it! We have set up a Pinterest FAST creative activities so please follow and use!

https://www.pinterest.com/victoriacarlton/fast-artcraft-activities/

 

 

Mr Lee Kwan Yew: A Modern Day Hero

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I am writing a children’s book about  TRAILBLAZERS – people who have forged ahead, been innovative, determined and achieved their goals. I find that children are desperate to hear such stories and sadly starved of them!

I have tried to focus very much on people children can identify with to help inspire them to “reach for the stars” themselves.
There are stories of kindness, cussed determination, a boy with learning difficulties who was determined to read, a woman who never goes anywhere without cat-food in her handbag and much more. Collecting these stories has uplifted and inspired me and I cannot wait to share them with children!

Yesterday, when hearing the sad news of the passing of
Mr Lee Kuan Yew, I found myself pondering his story. What a modern-day hero! This man showed incredible bravery during his life,  determination with his studies, such reverence for education, absolute love of country and amazing planning and organisational skills in order to forge the prosperous and peaceful Island state of Singapore. What a story!

His story needs to be studied by children and not just by Singaporean kids!

He was the leader we all joked about in the West with the threats of haircuts for long haired young men, passing through Singapore on their ways to the hippie trails of the India and the Middle East.

We had no idea what he was really doing. He couldn’t have cared less about our opinions! He just wanted the best for his people and he got it. That singleness of purpose is a unique characteristic that is hard to achieve but that plus his high values makes Lee Kuan Yew such an inspirational figure.

Yes – I know there are detractors who point out his faults but at the end of his days he died a HERO– a man who held steadfast to his vision. A giant of a man!

RIP Mr Lee Kuan Yew- we have all learned so much from you. Let’s make sure your values and achievements are shared with children all over the world- these kids NEED and HUNGER for heroes in this sadly pessimistic, rather dark world we dwell in! You were the ultimate TRAIL BLAZER!

Good GRACIOUS ME!

ハートを持つ子供Teaching  GRACIOUSNESS
After pondering the difficulties of teaching graciousness for 2 days my quest was answered!

On Monday I assessed a very polite child with great manners and an excellent sense of humour!  He was not scared to let me see his weaknesses and knew his strengths but wanted to improve on everything!  I realised I had a gracious child on my hands!

During the parent interview it became apparent his parents had deliberately set out to set up a loving but firm home environment.
Graciousness is not a personality trait. It has to be taught.

And it CAN be taught – to ALL children!

It is interesting to note that the word GRACIOUSNESS was at highest usage in around 1815 and almost left the collective vocabulary in the 1990s. It is gradually coming back into common usage. I personally believe our language tends to reflect our social mores and the interest in GRACIOUSNESS is a positive development.

Parents are actually beginning to ask about strategies to develop graciousness and all its associated qualities.

So how do we develop this elusive quality that has synonyms such as kind, elegant, comfortable, tender, well mannered, polite, considerate and thoughtful?

Children who have these qualities stand out like beacons to teachers. They are easier to teach, make friends easily and generally do well with their careers because their EQ tends to be a lot higher. They present a positive image and people want to be around them! Their good manners are so practised they appear to be second nature and we feel an “ease” with these people.

This is not something that can be learned at speed.

Here are some tips for parents and teachers:

• Tell children why their behaviour is helpful or not. Graciousness is about considering the needs of others before ourselves and is woven into the fabric of every major world religion.
• Read them books where people exemplify graciousness.
• Teach them good manners and insist on their use at all times- privately and publicly. Teach them social niceties so they will develop confidence in all social settings.
• Help them develop an attitude of gratitude. Families might keep a joint gratitude journal so that everyone writes or draws something they feel grateful for in every-day.
• You can have a special beautiful GRATITUDE STONE that gets passed around each day at the dinner table. As each member receives the stone, they must tell about 3 things they feel grateful for today.
• Help children write a Thank You for each gift they receive. This can become a fun exercise if children are allowed to select paper, stickers and markers and you can write the words if needed. Get children to write WHY they appreciate the gift.
• Children need to understand we do not necessarily like everything we are given. Use role play and puppets to help children act out receiving a gift they do not like much. How might the giver feel if we show annoyance or disappointment? Help them to understand that Grandma may not understand you already have 20 pairs of underpants! She may not be able to afford a more expensive gift so it was given with love and must be received with gratitude!
G.K. Chesterton, in A SHORT HISTORY OF ENGLAND says that

“thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
Get them involved with GIVING to others. This might mean donating outgrown clothes and toys to a charity shop, sharing the figs from your tree with neighbours or putting surplus lemons in a marked box on your verge. You could show children how your family can save some money to give to worthy causes or actually visit folks in an aged care home, serving in a soup kitchen etc. I have had children at my centre who have been completely transformed by their trips with parents to poor areas of the world to help.
• Don’t give them everything they ask for. Help them to realise that time with a loved one is far more precious than owning possessions.
Spend time with them on a regular basis. A parent at our centre has temporarily given up her position as a successful lawyer to take a low paying but less demanding job so she can give the gift of time to her child without taking reams of work home at night.
• Schedule special times such as BOARD GAMES evenings. A young Mum told me this week that her family have a board game night each week. What a wonderful idea! Families can talk together as they play and children learn that you definitely do not always win- a VERY big lesson for some children! They also learn that you can have fun without electronic media!
• Teach children how to be kind and gentle by looking after pets, visiting farms and learning about endangered species.
• Get children to begin a garden and plant and care for the plants they grow. This will help them also develop responsibility and respect for nature.
• Being gracious means showing equanimity, calm, respect, kindness and self-control – even when we feel the opposite. It is not about always expressing feelings. Children have to realise that there are many times when we simply cannot express our feelings without causing harm. They have to learn to stay calm, smile even when they want to yell and learn about the private expression of strong feelings. This is why drawing and writing in a private journal is so effective. A person who can draw and write in their private journal always has a means of expressing their feelings and can afford not to vent in public!
Model these behaviours yourself so children really understand. Reward graciousness when you observe it. Tell children exactly what they did right!

E.g. “I noticed you let Brian play with your Lego even though you don’t like the way he messes up your room. Well done!”
Graciousness IS important and is indeed transformative. Let’s take the time to teach it!

A DAY FOR TEARS

What is the lesson for us?
We have just witnessed a nWorld povertyight of terror, misery, violence and senseless deaths in Paris.
Young people who would rather die in what they perceive to be a glorious end where they will be remembered as martyrs!
Innocent people who just happened to be there.
We start to see all the right-wing forces of darkness coming out and blaming it all on Muslims, migrants etc.
WRONG!
This has nothing to do with religion. This is all about alienation, lack of values, understanding, sense of hopelessness, lack of purpose and desperate unhappiness.
If you want to see the beginning of this terrible alienation- look at the freezing conditions in the snowy camps in Lebanon. http://youtu.be/chTrI36rWSE
How will these children up with a sense of purpose?
Look at the Palestinian camps- whole generations have now lived there in conditions that none of us could even contemplate.
And yet we ignore this and just mutter about Islamists, Jihadists and bumble on in a dangerous fog of misunderstanding.
Conditions like this will always cause anger and deep alienation.
The anger spreads and alienated youth all over the world are swept up with it and empowered by the evil words that pour forth from those who seek to control, take vengeance and turn us back to the dark ages.
I have no answers- only a deep sadness today but this I know……..
• We have to start looking at our cossetted, indulgent lifestyles and spreading our blessings.
• We need to help ALL children feel loved, part of our community and with a sense of purpose.
• ALL children must be educated and helped to feel the deep sense of culture, tradition and values from their communities.
• Each one of us can take more interest in each other, our families, neighbours and communities.
For pity’s sake and for the sake of the next generation:
LET’S LEARN.

Musical Intelligence

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“Yea, music is the prophet’s art; among the gifts that God hath sent, one of the most magnificent.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Music is the first intellectual capacity to develop. Children respond in a positive and specific way at birth to the human voice. It seems that even while in utero the baby develops some musical ability. Babies in the womb are affected by many sounds-tones from their mother’s speech, laughter, singing, sound of mother’s heart, muffled sounds of music from radios and CDs and other’s talking. Music is one of the eight intelligences identified by Howard Gardner and indeed a very important one!
“In many ways music and rhythm are more foundational to our species than language. They have a power to evoke and express that no other medium expresses. Mothers use it to lull their children to sleep. Armies march to war to the beat of drums and national anthems. The use of chanting as a religious practice has been a part of every major world religion. And of course, the development of a wide variety of folk music has been used for entertainment and dancing, as an expression of grief, and as a declaration of love”
Eight Ways Of Knowing, by David Lazear, Hawker Brownlow 1999.
We can observe this intelligence at work as we watch young children enjoying singing, dancing, swinging their legs and enjoying the rhythms and beats of nursery rhymes. Children are delighted by music and certainly this is an important intelligence for many reasons-not just for enjoyment. Music is a civilising intelligence and our lives are all the richer for its development. It unites us and helps our children develop a sense of community.
We know that children can be helped to remember important facts by making up songs about them e.g. in grammar- Nouns are people, places things, just like desks, Marie and rings………..
Teachers are beginning to incorporate musical intelligence into all parts of the curriculum as it enhances learning as well as increasing enjoyment.
Children can be enthused by certain types of lively music and soothed by quiet lullabies. Tense, worried children can be helped to relax and improve motivation.
We all possess some degree of musical intelligence, whether or not we sing or play instruments. We can help our children to improve this intelligence through the following strategies:
 Encouraging children to listen to many types of music and draw their emotional responses is an excellent way to stimulate this intelligence. Whenever possible take children to concerts and expose them to as many varieties of music as possible. Develop the habit of singing along as a family.

 Playing “Brain enhancement” music to help children retain information and learn new material. Mozart and other Baroque composers are ideal for this. This of course is also very helpful for adults who are trying to learn study or just think more effectively.

 Singing stories such, as OLD MACDONALD and AN OLD LADY WHO SWALLOWED A FLY are excellent ways to improve reading while having fun! Make up RAPS and songs about events or items to be learned.

 Read children plenty of poetry, as this will encourage a sense of rhythm and appreciation of the sounds and cadences of the English language. Encourage the children to make up nonsense rhymes such as “One, one, eat a cream bun……..

Using chopsticks for to tap out rhythms of rhymes is great fun!

 Try using percussion instruments for playing while learning times tables or buy one of the excellent commercial music CDs to help children learn these important skills.

 Use music to teach the alphabet and phonics sounds essential to learning to read in English.

 Changing the words of well known songs e.g. Twinkle, twinkle little star, my Daddy drives a motor car…….

 Making up family songs. E.g. we love our family, of yes our family, we sing together all the time. We love each other. We help each other and we are happy to be close-to the tune of You are my sunshine/

 Study and listen to great composers. There are many excellent books and music CDs for families to practise together.

 Clap out the beats (syllables) in much loved songs and make up fun dances.

 Celebrate the rhythms of nature together-the turning on day into night, months, seasons, celebrations. Rhythms are integral to our human existence and children delight in the celebration of all the changes and rituals associated with these rhythms.

 Go outside with your children and listen to the “music” of the breeze in the trees or the “swishing” of grass

 Listen to music from different cultures as this increases musical intelligence as well as enlarging our understanding of each other and our traditions.

These strategies will help your children (and yourselves) to develop this wonderful musical intelligence and don’t forget the amazing music of silence as this can heal us and help our brains to prepare for the next beautiful melody we meet!

NO TIME TO IMAGINE ANYMORE!

 

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We are once again losing the plot!

Schools are using NAPLAN as their excuse for turning themselves into efficient factories with kids having knowledge rammed into them reminiscent of Dickens’ HARD TIMES scenarios!

Of course we have to improve young minds, help children retain knowledge, remember facts and spell, read, write and do basic maths. Nobody would argue with that.

But…we also have to inspire, light the fires of curiosity, lead, excite a love of learning, teach how to know oneself and how to be with others. We are called to be EDUCATORS and truly educating a child is a complex task calling for highly trained, sensitive and empathic human beings to lead, motivate and awaken hearts and minds.

This young extremely intelligent 9 year old had some literacy issues and LOVED the school holidays because she could dream, imagine, make things (she was a gifted little artist), and just be herself. As soon as school started her imagination had to shut down.

She came in crying one afternoon and thrust these words into my hands. I could hardly speak. I asked her if she would mind if I shared her words with teachers and her reply? “I WANT YOU TO!” So here I am sharing this child’s honest comments.

Let me translate:
All my imagination has to be locked up. I feel sad about this. Because school has started again. I have no time to imagine any more.

Surely we should be doing the opposite? Surely we should be awakening their imaginations by reading them great literature, providing enriching experience in the arts, music and movement and promoting divergent thinking skills?

Is this the bleak future we are offering? In that case we can expect more children to tune out, lose interest, become sad, depressed and lose the ability to dream up the future. We need to wake up from this nightmare and give our children back their hopes, dreams and futures.

LIFT THE LIMITS ON LEARNING!

I love FractionsCongratulations to our wonderful student who did so well with FRACTIONS last week at school. Charlotte is an excellent example of a very bright child whose learning style does not always coincide with the ones offered in school.
Ask her ANYTHING about nature and she will astound you! Charlotte is our consultant environmentalist and keeps us all up to date with endangered species etc.
We use teaching techniques that often leap ahead of the curriculum. Some children hear it, disregard but register the information somewhere deep inside, some grab it because they are ready and Charlotte was one of those!
This is what happened with fractions. Because we use a multi-age approach Charlotte had the opportunity to hear older children learning about fractions and when her class eventually started it she KNEW and recognised the concepts. She absolutely ran with it and proved to herself, her class and her teacher and adoring Mums HOW SMART she is and of course this is now a corner turned for Charlotte- not just a corner- a veritable U turn! She knows she CAN do it now and I know for sure the rate of progress will now step up!

We need to stop putting age-limits on learning- give them the knowledge when they are ready!

HOW TO CHILD WHISPER

As usual after our annual holiday, I start updating and writing new content for all our courses. For a long time I have known I should write a course on CHILD WHISPERING and share what it really entails and we are launching this course in Singapore in October.
As I write this course and consider content and ideas one concept becomes abundantly clear- this cannot be learned at speed. It takes time, patience and acute observational skills to learn to “Child Whisper”. You have to do the following and a great deal more-
* Be prepared to find out many of your assumptions and beliefs about the child were wrong. Be prepared for some surprises!
* Learn to get back into your “kid-spirit” and look at the child from a fresh perspective.
* Be WITH the child and don’t try to always lead. You need to earn their trust and this can take a long, long time!
* Understand that if you do not really LOVE children, you will NEVER succeed at CHILD WHISPERING because they will know! Children are far more discerning than adults and they see right through imposters!
Is it worth all the energy and time? Yes, yes and again YES! When you can really develop that empathy you can easily understand a child and provide for their needs and this makes a HUGE difference to their learning!
I will add more on this subject over the next few days as I make my long journey back to the world of WA, winter and responsibilities- the holidays are over and new beginnings are appearing! If any of you are interested in attending the 1 day CHILD WHISPERING workshop in Singapore in October, please contact Chew Yeh at www.september21.com.sg. We will also offer this workshop in Perth from February next year!

Begotten not Forgotten

sacredWe visited a very traditional Church this morning and I became aware of the soothing nature of the old words and prayers. Words like “begotten” jumped out and touched all sorts of emotions and memories. I listened to the beautiful organ as it was expertly played and the tones plus the words of the hymns (some written centuries ago) and wondered. What is it about liturgy, ritual and tradition that we love? The gleaming brasses and lovely altar rails were like a quiet reminder of something more peaceful and whole than the frantic scramble of my preceding weekday existence!

As we knelt to receive Holy Communion it felt as if the whole place was light and full of love and we were connected with centuries of people before us and those to come. Maybe I was just in a particularly receptive mood but the message for me was clear.

Human beings need rituals and traditions. They heal and comfort us and lend some pattern and routine to our often crazy days. The words from sacred texts seem to have a power like no other and I experience this also when visiting other sacred places of worship.

I often visit our local Buddhist temple and experience profound peace when there and when working in Singapore we love to meditate in the Sri Vinaygar temple or listen to the call to prayer in Arab St (a sound that always resonates right through me and makes me want to fall on my knees.)

Children have such an innocent and naïve approach to spirituality. They love to visit holy places and have a deep understanding and simple faith often denied to us. And yet, in this secular world all too many parents deny their children any of these sacred visits and experiences. Children yearn for the “other” and they respond so deeply when allowed to engage with symbols and their deeper natures.

As we have children of every religious persuasion at our centres (including many free thinkers), we honour ALL the festivals by telling children about them! They love to hear about Lent, Ramadam, Purim etc and we feel it helps them to appreciate the richness of our very mixed cultural identities. We acknowledge the Aboriginal traditional owners of the land at all our sessions and indeed the children are annoyed if we forget to do that!

At all our learning sessions we have a time when our groups come together for our motto, ICE song, turning on of the STAR of learning and giving out of awards. The lights are lowered and we have fairy lights to make this time special. Children often tell special news and we might have a few quiet moments or listen to a visualisation before writing. If EVER we get very busy and this GATHERING time is late. the students complain. They hunger for the special, comforting rituals that help them to feel they belong and matter. It is a special, magical interlude and I am sure it contributes to our high academic success rare. Our teachers so often comment that the work output seems to double after the gathering!

So, let’s listen deeply to our needs and those of our children and establish times when they can interact with the sacred and feel the deep connections that bind us all. Acknowledge special days with simple rituals. Establish a gratitude time with your family at meal times where each person holds a special “gratitude stone” and shares one thing for which they are thankful that day.

Mark the changing seasons with a simple nature tray on your kitchen table and above all take the time with your families for quiet contemplation- whether that be in Church, Temple, Mosque or simply in a forest or at the beach.

This spiritual yearning is part of the human experienced and we all need the deep healing and comfort that comes from contact with the sacred.

POWERLESS KIDS

Why do we rob kids of power?

If you think back to your childhoods you will remember that one of the biggest frustrations was your lack of power. You were regularly told,” When you are older you can do that! When you are grown-up you can do this”, and so on. So basically as children we had very little power over decisions and choices, BUT and this is a very big BUT- as children growing up we took RISKS. (Often without parental knowledge!) We were able to take risks because we could actually escape from adult eyes occasionally. These risks gave us the chance to succeed, fail, learn, get hurt, learn resilience and generally toughen up and learn about the real world. We found out that some kids didn’t like us (even if we gave them our lunch), some teachers also didn’t like us (often for very good reasons) and that we needed to think, plan carefully (possibly scheming is a better word!) to get what we wanted.

Unfortunately many children now just ask for what they want and BAM the good fairy (parent) grants their wish or gives them the date their wish will come true.

They NEVER get to just hang out with kids. Play-dates are now the order of the day! Children are not allowed to dislike each other and have to settle all disputes by calm, well thought out adult procedures. (Children know much faster ways to settle these things!)

If they don’t do homework, teachers are told by parents (too stressful to make children tell the truth), “Aunt Beth unexpectedly came to dinner, he was ill and had to go to bed early, we ran out of time, it was too hard and so on. So what does the child learn?

1. I cannot settle my own problems- Mum must speak for me.

2. It is OK to lie and not be responsible for my own actions (or lack of!)

What are we REALLY protecting our children from? I can hear you all right now bleating on about stranger danger, harsh teachers, tired children ………..

Do you know that children who are over-protected are more likely to be bullied?

However, the fact is you are actually protecting them from the chance to learn, gain resilience, grow up, take risks, develop self confidence and above all have a healthy sense of I CAN and self-esteem.

I am not arguing for children to be allowed to do what they want. It goes without saying that children should be cared for, nurtured and given safe environments. Just remember to occasionally turn a blind eye and allow them to have a voice. We want our children to grow into honest, creative, thinking individuals with strong self-esteem and highly developed sense of self-discipline and responsibility.

Give them some power back! Get some other interests- your children are not your hobby, your handbag or bright, shining possessions. They are  unique gifts to the world and must be allowed a little air and freedom to breathe and learn!

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